Before I tell you how to recognise your soulmate let’s first consider two things that prevent this from happening.
The term soul mate has been distorted and romanticised in the media and as a result you may find yourself ‘waiting’ for your ideal relationship and/or partner to come along. You may not realise that a soulmate may not necessarily be an “ideal” relationship.
When you are in a state of waiting, you are pushing away what is happening now and you miss out on your current life complete with opportunities that are here now. Waiting puts you in a state of not being fulfilled. It is only possible to find peace and happiness in the present moment. So by definition, the waiting has a negative impact on your life.
Secondly waiting for true love or a soulmate also means you are creating something to wait for. If it’s the romantic ‘ideal’ of a soul mate you will miss the real opportunity of love that often sits in front of you. You miss your opportunity because you are waiting for an ‘ideal’. You can’t begin to imagine what your real soul mate will be like, so it’s probable that you are projecting something that is unrealistic or too vague without being aware of what you are doing. You can’t recognize your opportunity for love because you can never find your ideal image, it doesn’t exist.
Last of all, this waiting state makes you vulnerable to others that may take advantage of you (deliberately or unconsciously) You will give out a certain signal that will be matched by someone else’s corresponding state. That’s not always bad but it leaves you open to false starts and dashed hopes. It could also expose you to danger in certain situations.
2. Be Happy With Who You Are
It’s interesting to see that the people who are into self development are often struggling to meet their soulmate. This is the law of attraction at work. When you are into self development there is an implication that you are not happy with yourself and that there is something wrong with you. This is the case for many people who approach self development from this negative point of view. There are others who take joy in the fact that you can improve. They are genuinely interested, happy and love the fact that they can create improvement. Both camps come from opposite sides of the same coin.
If you are pursuing your own development from the point of view of not accepting yourself and needing to improve yourself because there is something wrong with you then you will be pushing away what you are looking for. The law of attraction dictates that you are looking into a mirror and you receive what you already are. If you are negative towards your self then it will be difficult to encounter a soulmate who is positive towards you. You will be attracting someone like you.
When you are trying to change yourself in order to be more lovable, which is often the case with people trying to lose weight, then you are in a state of disapproval with yourself. This will repel your soulmate. You need self approval for other to approve of you.
The Original Story Of Soulmates
The idea of soulmates comes from an old spiritual story that very roughly goes along the lines of the following.
Once upon a time we were created as a perfect soul. To understand the concept of self and the process of becoming one, our souls were split into two. The two halves were given a polarity difference so that they would be drawn together. This process needed a physical incarnation to be experienced and the two halves were destined to look for one another lifetime after lifetime during the process of reincarnation. The two halves had a longing for each other which would drive them forward and never be satisfied until they met. Once they met on the physical plane they could rejoin and leave this earthly existence. This story probably needs a “to live happily ever after” you can even add a “in heaven” at the end just to make it really good.
This story is a derivative of the concept of our existence, a story too long for this article. Suffice it to say that spiritually we are “one” and your mission should you choose to accept it, comprises of the process of self development until you have the ability to reach a “state of being” that enables you to rejoin with the source – let’s call it God.
Recognise Your Soulmate
Here are some points to consider when deciding if you have met your soulmate. This is how you recognise your soulmate but be mindful of the fact that you will not recognise some of these points until after you are in the relationship.
You meet the person straight after a major personal development step or breakthrough. Major means significant work has been done that has completely changed you. Not just having an “ah ha” moment when you discover something. I put this point first because it often happens to my clients after a period of coaching and instruction. Often the self development that is undertaken revolves around healing issues of self worth/love/approval.
You will have a feeling of “coming home” or finding a lost love
You may have past life memories with that person.
You may be a great fit. Even if you are opposites you will mirror certain issues and concerns
You are empathetic to each others emotions and needs
You can easily overlook major character flaws or bad habit which you wouldn’t have done in any other relationship – you don’t mind doing this and you don’t consider it an effort.
You may have precognitive dreams, glimpses or visions in meditations about that person.
You experience important personal growth opportunities together. This has to be more than that which occurred in other relationships.
In hindsight you realise that certain things that happened in other relationships have now prepared you for this one.
There is strong sexual attraction and good friendship – not just a lusty attraction on its own.
You have deep feelings of “it’s destiny” or that it feels “right” of course the longer you are alive and the more relationships you have had, then it may be easier to identify this feeling.
A word of warning – when you recognise your soulmate don’t use that as an excuse to leave your existing relationship. It highly unlikely that this is the case. Remember that when you are in a negative relationship you are attracting it and it’s unlikely that your new partner and supposed soulmate is looking at you in a positive light. It’s more likely that you are experiencing the euphoria of a new relationship. This is the honey moon period when everything looks and feels fantastic due to the chemical releases that occur.
Now as a final thought. I have often mentioned that your desires are the key to your true self. They will point you towards what you are meant to be doing and your purpose for life. Therefore it stands to reason that if you have a true desire to meet your soulmate then your soulmate does in fact exist and it’s likely that there are things you can do to meet them.
Authors Details: How To Recognise Your Soulmate – Aymen Fares