This is for all you guys out there because toxic masculinity is harming you…
I’m going to explain to you why men are in crisis.
The World Health Organisation tells us that 260 million people suffer from Anxiety and over 350 million people suffer from Depression .. it’s a massive problem.
Here’s a big call !! I say it in all sincerity .. It can be fixed … so listen in.
The reason why so many men suffer from a mid life crisis or have mental health problems such as anxiety and depression is because of their problem with emotion. That one little word scares the crap out of so many men and that’s also the origin of toxic masculinity.
As a man you are taught by society that to be a man … you need to be tough. You are told by society that masculinity equates to this.
Masculine = tough.
In the name of masculinity we run around getting big and strong, learning to punch, shoot or just mastering kicking a ball around a football field. There are all sorts of ways masculinity is displayed.
The big problem that men have is with feeling and emotion, let me explain…
Your feelings are your guidance system through life. You need them. You feel emotion (emotion is different to feeling ) when it comes up because you cannot process your thoughts and feelings.
Tough actually translates to showing no emotion – to do that you have to suppress it. In other words get efficient at ignoring emotion and under no circumstances show anyone you suffer from this “womanly” quirk of life.
I did it myself for years and years. Here’s where the problem lies…
When you were a kid you were free to express what you wished and you used your feelings to guide you. That’s your correct and natural state of “being.”
When you suppress emotion you are actually suppressing your feelings. Which means that you have just shut down your internal guidance system.
Think removing the handlebars from your motorcycle, removing the goals from a football field or having no steering wheel on your car. You wouldn’t do that.
You end up going through life doing what you are told you should do. Doing what you think will give you success or money. You ignore what you want to do .. ignore what your internal guidance system shows you – your unique path in life – feelings show you the “way”
You wake up one day, usually because something big has happened – a divorce, job loss or accident… it doesn’t matter.
Crisis kicks in. Your not sure what’s wrong, it’s all a muddle of fear, emotional pain and anxiety. Sometimes it’s deeper – depression.
As a society we say, hey you have mental problems – implying “your not quite right”
But it’s become a big problem now so we soften it under the term …“mental health” It’s not nearly as bad but it still has a stigma, doesn’t it???
There is nothing wrong with you.
The solution is simple .. take the time (and it doesn’t take long) to learn how your mind and feelings operate, why emotion kicks in and how to remove it, because it gets stuck inside you. This way you will be able to feel again.
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