This Is How To Find Direction In Life
Many people are lost and need to find their direction in life. Do you drift through your life aimlessly only to wake up occasionally and wonder what happened to the last few years? Do you ask yourself “why am I doing this?” Are you generally dissatisfied but are unsure why?
As a mentor I see people like this all the time. They generally work too hard and too many hours or they don’t work at all. Life is out of balance and they have lost touch with who they really are. This manifests in unhappiness and blunted capacity to feel – which is a bad state to be in because I believe that your feelings are the guidance system that you have been given to live your life.
You might feel this way and don’t even know that you have lost your direction in life. You may think that you are suffering from everyday procrastination, boredom and fatigue. That’s not the way life is meant to be lived. You are supposed to have endless energy and passion. Lets see what we can do to fix this situation. There is a reason you have particular tastes and desires. There is also a reason that your tastes and desires are different to that of your neighbours, friends and family. You are unique and so it follows that your likes and aspirations are are also unique.
That’s the easy part – but as you live your life – three things happen.
1. You face rejection, failure and loss. This makes you hide your true desire, ambition and love as a way to protect yourself from further hurt.
2. You feel emotional pain so you hide your feelings.
3. You conform with what others do. This makes you appear to “fit in” You don’t stand out anymore and it stops any further chance of rejection or feelings of inferiority.
Before you know it you are doing a job that you don’t like, living in an area that you didn’t choose, driving a car that is the same as everyone else and socialising with people you have nothing meaningful to talk about with. You disconnect and shut down. Years go by and you wonder why you are not happy.
You are probably surrounded by people who are “not like you” and you feel lonely even though you have company. Feeling lost and alone means you are out of touch with your feelings and you have lost your spiritual connection. It means you are out of alignment with who you are.
What You Can Do To Find Your Direction In Life
1. Tune into the way you feel. Tune into your current emotions. You do this by scanning your body. Start at one end and work your way down or up. Pay attention to each part and note what you find. Express feelings and emotions that come up. Acknowledge them to yourself and allow yourself to feel them. In other words when you are sad – feel sad, cry if you have to, just don’t suppress it.
2. Follow your inner voice. You can only do this when you are still. Spend time alone. Mediation is a great way and if you don’t have time for that just sit quietly by yourself for five minutes. The more you do this the stronger your inner voice becomes. Eventually you will hear the screaming voice that tells you you are lost. You may then be able to ditch your self denial and your fake “my life is ace” script and go about creating change.
3. Listen to your heart and discover or rediscover your passion. If you don’t know what that is, try a few different things and use the process of elimination to get there. Look at what you used to like before you became that responsible adult that you are now. Follow your heart!
4. Focus on being with people who make you feel good when you are with them and discard people who make you feel bad. Yes you will have to “feel’ to do this. Try different people rather than the same work colleagues or the people from your hobby/sporting team. This will start new conversations and relationships.
5. Eliminate your distractions. When you are lost it’s often the case that you “tune out” by distracting yourself. Work, hobbies, sport, porn, Television, goals, etc. Busy all the time just means you are distracting yourself.
6. Discover your spiritual connection by investigating things that have meaning to you. You can do this by looking at different philosophies and discovering what feels right to you. Your spiritual connection will strengthen as you develop your inner voice.
7. Ask yourself lots of questions about what you are doing. Always ask “why” in regard to what you are doing. There are no right answers but you will discover a lot about yourself. You will uncover all your fears eventually with relentless questioning.
8. Live in the moment and discover happiness is the way you think about NOW. It doesn’t come from the outside or attaining things. Once you discover that each moment is a self contained unit of time and a chance to recreate your future, you will feel free.
9. Life has cycles, it has an ebb and flow. Nature has four different seasons and Athletes scale and use periodisation to improve performance. You can’t just move forward relentlessly at the same pace for years at a time without a negative effect. Listen to your body and watch out for this. You will feel when its time to go full steam ahead and when its time for a rest.
10. Plan ahead and make changes that move you towards the life you want. Don’t allow yourself to wander aimlessly through time.
It’s not impossible to find direction in life, it just requires effort. Most of what I propose in this article requires you to look at your fears, face them and move forward. It’s not to late to make changes and I’m always here to help.
Authors Details: Aymen Fares