Do You Deserve To Be Loved?
They are the words I often hear from clients – I deserve to be loved!
I was talking to someone recently and on the spur of the moment I helped her release a block in regard to relationships. After the block was removed and she came to the realisation that she had been subconsciously blocking what she consciously wanted, she exclaimed “Now I can get the relationship I deserve!”
She meant, “I deserve to be loved” “I deserve a fantastic relationship”
There are so many hidden meanings buried in the “deserve” phrase. The point is a phrase that contains “I deserve…” implies that you have worked hard and done many ‘good’ deeds in return you get what you desire.
Things would be fine if you believe that you deserve everything. I deserve to be loved and I believe it. “Bingo” there it is. I have family and friends who all love me.
Do You Believe?
The problem is that most people believe that they don’t deserve certain things. You may not believe that you deserve love or your belief may be that you don’t deserve a special relationship in your life. We are all different, perhaps you believe that you deserve only what you have worked hard for and that you certainly don’t deserve excess wealth, money or happiness, because that would be greedy.
When you say “I deserve… ” It alerts me to a problem. It means there is something wrong. The phrase is prevalent in the spiritual community with the ‘light workers’ In fact it comes out in this area a lot because they are doing ‘good’ work and therefore it follows that they think they deserve something. That’s NOT how it works. Remember getting something, like a desire, is governed by the law of attraction. Lets have a look at what the word deserve actually means.
What Does It Mean To Deserve?
What does the word deserve mean? Straight from the dictionary it means, to merit, qualify for, have claim to reward, to be worthy of etc..
Now here is the problem.
There is nothing you can do to deserve anything. You can already have what you want – just by accepting it. The concept of “deserving” and by implication having to do something special in order to receive, comes from authority in three area’s. Your upbringing, your religious influences and your integration into society and social order.
Parents – Your parents probably played an important role. If you are “good” or you “behave” you get love. When you are misbehaving or “bad” love is withdrawn. This is learned behaviour for many people that dictates the way you behave for the rest of your life.
Religion – Our society is based on the Christian religion. If you are “good” you will go to heaven. If you are “bad” you will go to Hell. God loves good people and casts sinners to wherever – you get the picture.
Socially – Society works because we all cooperate and contribute. You are taught the following;
- If you work hard you will be rewarded with money or status.
- When you don’t work hard and contribute to the “group” you will not be rewarded in fact you will go without food, shelter and more.
- By qualifying for something like a university degree, you are worthy of working for “me”. If you don’t qualify you are not worthy.
I Deserve To Be Loved – Is A False Belief
If you believe that you need to “deserve” in order to get your desire you are putting yourself into a subservient position in relation to God / The Universe and as such in order to manifest a desire you will need to jump a hurdle relative to your beliefs. In other words you will have to earn it. That’s not how the law of attraction actually works.
You are really just asking yourself for what you want. There is no “big dude” sitting around granting desires if you slave away and meet certain conditions. The man who stole $50 last year is no less deserving than the one who dug a ditch and earnt $50 and then donated it to the lost dogs home for really cute puppies. The woman who slept with x number of men (insert however many you think is too many) is no less deserving of a loving relationship than the virgin bride.
Law Of Attraction
Anyone can achieve their desire. You are part of the source energy or God and such all you have to do is match your vibration to that of what you want. Usually we want more, better or different and it’s a low vibration from your negative inputs that keep you where you already are. You need to increase your vibration and keep it high to get your desires. This can be achieved by using the attitude of gratitude. (look that rhymes) by removing emotional blocks and by changing the way you think. That is how the law of attraction works.
Just remember this one important point that always seems to be missing when you deal with the law of attraction, You still have to “do” because it’s a physical world. Your thoughts and beliefs will attract people and situations. You still have to act on them and do something. You do NOT have to do something to make you worthy of your desire.
All you parents out there reading this, remember to love your children unconditionally. If they are misbehaving and being punished or restricted in some way – make it clear that you love them but you don’t like or accept their behaviour and it’s the behaviour which needs to change – make sure they know that they are still loved irrespective of their actions.
Ditch the word or concept of deserving from your mind and learn how to accept that everything is already part of you because you are part of the whole. Don’t say, “I deserve to be loved” say “I am love” You just need to allow and accept this, the rest will follow.
Authors Details: Aymen Fares