The Phobia Of Being Alone

Do you have a phobia of being alone? Many people have this fear and don’t recognise it because they subconsciously hide it with normal everyday distractions. You may not even understand the importance of conquering this very powerful fear.

Aleister Crowley said “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law” this refers to following your true life purpose or your calling in life. It means acting according to this calling. I believe that in order to understand ones true life purpose you have to be able to make a spiritual connection and talk with who Aleister called – “Your Holy Guardian Angel.”

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Don’t confuse the statement above with doing what you like and satisfying your ego. Differentiating between your true calling and what you like to do is only possible once you are consciously “awake” or have the ability to be “present”. You can then make a spiritual connection.  Some people are born this way but most of us have to work to find our true life purpose.

I have written before that desire is the signal to yourself, that you are on the right path – again you need to be able to differentiate between your desire leading you along the correct path and your Ego and it’s wants and needs leading you down the wrong path. This can easily be done once you have established your spiritual connection.

Do you know where I am going with this? You need to be at peace with being alone to make this connection.

How Do You Feed Your Phobia Of Being Alone

When I talk about being alone I don’t necessarily mean being single and alone for your entire life – however a phobia in regard to that would just be an extreme extension of what I am going to discuss in this article. Alone means being in your own company for at least a short period of time and not doing anything. 5 minutes of this is a great place to start.

You need solitude – that’s the state of being alone but not lonely.

There are a million ways you and your Ego prevent your solitude. First and foremost when you are alone with out a spiritual connection you feel lonely. So you seek to fill the gaps and this can be done by;

  • Talking or listening to others
  • Surrounding yourself with company / friends
  • Thinking about a problem
  • Watching TV
  • Listening to the Radio
  • Checking emails – especially the really important ones that can’t wait for another 5 minutes
  • Reading
  • Going for a drive
  • Hobbies
  • Family
  • Your work
  • More work
  • If you are a business person – important business
  • Really important business

I think you get the picture – it’s easy to fill the day with “stuff” and have no time for yourself. I have seen people that cannot be alone and do nothing, for even a a minute. The continual noise of life stops the spiritual connection that you need to experience solitude instead of ordinary loneliness.

Why Do You Have A Phobia Of Being Alone

If you have a phobia of being alone and doing nothing, you are masking bigger issues. These issues won’t go away. You can put them off till next week or next year but eventually they will appear as refection in your world.

Your Ego which is charged to protect you plays an important role in preventing you from being alone. Your Ego protects you because in order to make your spiritual connection you need to clear a path. Your path is cleared by unblocking all your drama’s, resentments, emotional turbulence, judgements and prejudices until you are left in balance.

Subconsciously you can hear the connection calling you and you know that you need to clear a path. This brings our good friend “fear’ into the equation and fear of facing your “stuff” is what makes you fill your day or evening with all the really important stuff like watching TV for hours.

Some of you have huge issues – you don’t want to face the fact that you may have to leave your spouse, clear a debt, change jobs or tell Aunt Debbie she is no longer welcome at your house. To achieve a spiritual connection and true happiness your issues need to be faced and resolved. It can be done – I help people with this everyday.

Here is part of fantastic poem by the third best selling Poet of all time (bet you didn’t know that?) Kahlil Gibran

You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts;
And when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart you live in your lips, and sound is a diversion and a pastime.
And in much of your talking, thinking is half murdered.
For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words may indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly.
There are those among you who seek the talkative through fear of being alone.

The silence of aloneness reveals to their eyes their naked selves and they would escape.

How To Make Peace With Being Alone

There’s nothing like jumping in and trying it – so be alone, be still and do nothing – see what happens. Try not to think or solve problems whilst you are doing nothing as this is actually doing something – don’t prepare a meal or go for a walk – do nothing. Time your self, how long can you be like this?
When you can do this for just a few minutes on a regular basis start to separate yourself from your thoughts. Be still and watch your thoughts go past – learn to recognize your thoughts as distinctly separate to “YOU.” Get to the state of mind where you can consciously stop yourself from following the thoughts that you have. In other words you can see that you are apart from them. For some of you this will be easy and for others it will be difficult. It takes a lot of practice and repetition – its an exercise and you are strengthening a faculty.

Now its time to form the intent to connect – intend to connect to your higher self, God, an Angel, a guide, Eric the Alien – it doesn’t matter who,  it’s all just energy and you are learning to personify it.

Eventually you will receive an impression or picture. Like a negative (look it up if you are under 30 years of age) you need to develop your picture or impression. This usually can’t be done in one session unless you already have very advanced powers of concentration. You will lose your ability to stay focused in a short period of time and the connection will break. You need to revisit your picture or impression time and time again. This can be done over minutes, days, weeks, months and one particular picture I received I developed over a ten year period to achieve a result.

So what is a result? You find something out. Your picture or impression tells you something about yourself, someone else or a situation. You will get to the stage where you can communicate back and forth with the energy that you have connected with. Remember to use your intent to direct who you wish to communicate with – my advice is your spirit guide is better than Freddy Krueger – so be discerning and steer the ship.
It doesn’t matter if you are talking to, or communicating with an actual entity outside of yourself or just carrying on a conversation with another part of you. The real question is; “Is it useful to you?” You will find that it will be.

When it takes a long time to develop and achieve a result on one particular impression it means that it’s about something that is buried deep within you and you don’t want to face it – or you are not ready in this stage of your life to see it. You are getting teasers to keep you going.

When you get good at establishing a connection you can throw out the rules at the start of this article and you will be able to connect and communicate whilst doing things like walking, preparing a meal, in fact doing any menial task like driving a car- it just takes a bit more practice and each of these activities is like a meditation. Remember in “doing” situations its easy to lose the connection as there will be distractions.

Once you get good at this you will seemingly have the answer to everything. I often annoy, in a humorous way those around me by saying, “Ask me anything, I know the answer” They ask and I come up with something for them. It seems to work and the answer is always useful. Whether I am talking to God or to myself is not important. We don’t need to know the absolute truth of this. The question is, does it work? As I have built a great Life Coaching practice on it – the answer is, “It works”

I don’t know if I can connect better than you can but that’s not the point. Everyone has the ability to a certain extent. Sometimes when issues are close to your heart and you are emotional it’s hard to see the forest from the trees. Someone who knows what they are doing that’s looking in from the outside can help.

The more you release your emotional blocks the more clear your messages will be – we are all channels for this universal energy . The energy goes through the filter that is YOU and is distorted. The more “clear” you get – the better the message or the less distortion.

Embrace Your Phobia Of Being Alone

Being alone in solitude has enormous benefit once you understand how to connect. The end of loneliness is one. My favorite times for being alone are are in the early morning or middle of the night when you can feel the stillness of the whole country. Being alone in the house during a weekday during business hours has a similar feel. Driving along the freeway is one of my best times of inspiration and nothing beats riding a motorcycle to force your senses into the present and allow a clear connection. A formal way to achieve what I consider the best result is via Meditation. Try this for even a few minutes a day and you will eventually get extraordinary results.

Embrace your phobia of being alone and you will find it slips away fast and you may surprise yourself with some dramatic results.

Let me know in the comments section below how its working for you.

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3 Responses to “The Phobia Of Being Alone”

  1. I have always been my own best company since childhood – well able to occupy my self in even an empty room. The parental admonition ‘Go To Your Room!’ was no threat (and they knew it). But there is a vast difference between being alone and ‘loneliness.’ Now that I am old, disabled & housebound, it is difficult to connect with anyone at all to share any kind of time, energy or knowledge (except on the Internet which is rather impersonal). Being alone by choice to commune with one’s self is an adventure….but it can be an imprisonment, a sentence in solitary if not chosen. This issue is not often addressed, is it? Thank you for this article.


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