As a life coach I am often asked about true love, soul mates and twin flames. The most common questions are “What is true love?” and “What does true love feel like?”
The answer is not easy and there are certain things you need to consider that will help you recognize true love in your life.
1. True Love is unconditional
That means you love someone irrespective of what they do to you and regardless of any strong negative emotions you experience in your relationship with them. Once you place conditions on your love, it’s not really love it’s a business arrangement. This is what you might say in a relationship..
“I love you as long as you ….”
(eg: behave the way I want you to behave)
The concept of unconditional love does not mean you stay in a relationship when it is detrimental for you. You can still love and leave.
2. Soul mates
The term soul mate has been distorted and romanticized in the media and as a result you may find yourself ‘waiting’ for your ideal relationship and/or partner to come along.
This leads to the following problems..
When you are waiting, you are pushing away what is happening now and you miss out on your current life complete with opportunities that are here now.
Firstly this puts you in a state of not being fulfilled. It is only possible to find peace and happiness in the present moment. So by definition, the waiting has a negative impact on your life.
Secondly waiting for true love or a soul mate also means you are creating something to wait for. If its the romantic ‘ideal’ of a soul mate you will miss the real opportunity of love that often sits in front of you. You miss your opportunity because you are waiting for an ‘ideal’. You can’t begin to imagine what your real soul mate will be like, so it’s probable that you are projecting something that is unrealistic or too vague without being aware of what you are doing. You can’t recognize your opportunity for love because you can never find your ideal image, it doesn’t exist.
Last of all this waiting state makes you vulnerable to others that may take advantage of you (deliberately or unconsciously) You will give out a certain signal that will be matched by someone else’s corresponding state. That’s not always bad but it leaves you open to false starts and dashed hopes. It could also expose you to danger in certain situations.
3. More on Soul mates
In general terms, soul mate refers to a similar soul. That means someone like you. Someone who has similar issues and life lessons to learn. You attract others ‘like you’ who may appear and act differently, but when you look deeply at the underlying life issues, they are very similar to you. They are your reflection. Your soul mate or should I say ‘mates’ as you have more than one, is very close to you spiritually. You are on the same journey.
You may not be romantically connected. There is just a connection and that connection could be positive or negative. It could be a teacher/ student relationship, a friendship or you may be enemies. They are all connections.
If your beliefs extend to reincarnation then these connections span many lifetimes and are often characterized with that, ‘we have met before’ feeling. Sometimes just an uncanny comfortable feeling that you can’t explain. When your soul mate comes along there is no rule that says they have to be the way your romantic ideal suggests. They may not even be of the correct sex. This often happens because your soul mates mission is to help you not to be an ideal partner for a romance. They help you by being your reflection and showing you something about yourself. This is often painful. If the union results in pain then as so often happens your relationship with them may not survive.
The force of attraction exists so that you can learn from other people. Without attraction you wouldn’t be drawn to certain people and you will miss important lessons. This is how your life works and is a requirement for your spiritual journey. You learn when you have human interaction and that means people coming together. As others reflect who you are, you are able to learn. This attraction is not exclusive to romantic relationships. You are attracted to people and places without any sexual feelings involved.
Attraction is often mistaken for sexual attraction and confused with sexual energy. Conversely if there is attraction and sexual energy it doesn’t mean you have to act on the sexual impulse. You can still have a platonic relationship with that person.
5. Self Development
You attract and join with people who are similar to you. The easiest way to get a great partner is to pursue your own self development. When ‘someone’ comes along they will reflect you and you will be at your best! Therefore the chance of a great relationship is accentuated.
6. Twin souls or Twin Flames
This is greatly misunderstood. Your twin soul or flame is really just another part of you. You need to join the masculine and feminine sides of your soul in order for you to be and feel complete. This requires you to be balanced and achieve the enlightened state that allows you to transcend your ego.
When you are balanced internally it is duplicated and reflected in your physical environment. That means your relationship either current or new will feel incredibly special just like you have met your twin soul. This is just a reflection of the balance you have achieved internally. In other words to achieve a special relationship or true love look internally and work on improving the flow of love from yourself. The outside world will take care of itself.
The force of love is the energy that flows through you and everyone else. This energy is altered and distorted because you, with your mind are a filter of this energy. True love is this energy shining through a very clear filter. You clear your filter when you pursue a path of personal development and work through your emotional issues.
One of the ways to recognize love is to look around you and check to see if you love and accept the people in your life for what and who they are. Without judgment and without trying to change them to be like you.
True love is subjective but the degree to which you feel it is irrelevant. You will feel that something ‘magical’ is happening when it happens, if you are ‘clear’. You achieve this state by following a path of personal development.
Authors Details: Aymen Fares