There have been many books written about “The Art of Loving,” but very few written from the perspective of Spirit, the Soul, and the Ascended Masters’ perspective. Most books written on “The Art of Loving” are written from the perspective of the personality, rather than from the perspective of the Soul and Mighty I Am Presence.
I have been inwardly guided this day to write an article on “The Art of Loving” from a Spiritual and/or Higher Consciousness perspective. Love from the perspective of the personality, deals very much with feelings and the importance of expressing one’s feelings. This is fine, however, this in truth is, only one quarter of what love really is. Feelings are by their very nature very amorphous. They are here one moment and then gone the next. Anyone who bases their relationship just on how they feel at any given moment is going to have a relationship that has enormous ups and downs, and is very rocky to say the least. In truth, “The Art of Loving” is so much more than this.
The true “Art of Loving” deals not only with how one feels which is connected with the subconscious mind, it also deals very much with the conscious mind and Superconscious mind. The true “Art of Loving” involves not just the feeling of love, romantic and sexual feelings, but also what I would call a mental attitude of love. This means first off a commitment to be unconditionally loving at all times with your partner, even if you don¹t feel like it. You may feel angry, and feel like emotionally attacking your partner however, in the true “Art of Loving” this is not something you give into, for from a Spiritual perspective this would be a total indulgence in your negative ego.
My Beloved Readers, we begin to see now for the first time some of the initial differences between personality level love, and true Soul and Spiritual love. “The Art of Loving” from a Spiritual perspective is always unconditionally loving and never conditionally loving. It is never attacking or judgmental. It only shares loving observations, Spiritual discernments and preferences. The Spiritual Art of Loving always forgives even if your own negative ego doesn¹t feel like it. Spiritual love always communicates in a calm, rational, unconditionally loving manner, and does not argue or engage in ego battles. Spiritual love is tolerant, patient, and always a love finder not a fault finder.
One of the keys to “The Art of Loving” is having an attitude of love, not just feelings of love. Over the long haul of a long term relationship it is very unlikely that any relationship would last without both partners developing “The Art of Loving” in their mental bodies as well as their emotional bodies. People who have developed “the Art of Loving” in their mental body understand that to be right in a relationship, one must first be right with self and right with GOD. If one is not right with self and right with GOD you will also be off-kilter and disconnected from your partner. This is because our thoughts create our reality.
In truth, fifty to seventy-five percent of the problems that people are having in their relationships stem from not being right with self and right with GOD. They think it is the other person but from the Soul and Spirit’s perspective it is not. In truth, everything your partner does is a Spiritual test to teach you to practice unconditional love and transcendence of your own negative ego thought system, feelings and emotions. Most people not having been trained in how to master their own negative ego and emotional body are letting some of this spill over into their relationship. This is not a judgment, just a very important Spiritual insight.
When I used to do a lot of relationship counseling, being a Spiritual Psychologist and Marriage/Family/Child Counselor, I found that seventy-five percent of the relationship problems cleared up after I would do two or three sessions helping each individual in the relationship get right with self and right with GOD. This means helping each person get fully back into their 100% personal power, unconditionally love and self-worth, golden bubble of protection, attunement to their own Mighty I Am Presence, preference instead of attachment attitudes, looking at everything as Spiritual lessons and tests, transcending negative ego thought system and practicing Christ/Buddha thought system.
The individual counseling served as a complete polar axis shift of their own consciousness, which made them see their relationship in whole new light and understanding. It broke all the co-dependence and seeking wholeness and love outside of self and established this empowerment, love, and wholeness within self and relationship to GOD first.
The Superconscious mind is involved in “The Art of Loving” as the name I am giving to represent the Soul, Higher Self and Mighty I Am Presence within each person. When the Superconscious or Spiritual level is integrated into the equation of “The Art of Loving,” besides what has already been mentioned, there is an extremely high level of Christ/Buddha consciousness that is infused into the process.
This manifests as a tremendous desire within each person in the relationship, to be of the highest Spiritual purity and integrity.
It manifests as a desire to give rather than take or receive.
It manifests in a Saintly quality that is always desiring to be the first to forgive, apologize and admit mistakes.
It manifests as a willingness to be devastatingly honest with self in the highest Spiritual sense to not defend one¹s own negative ego.
It manifests in an unbelievably high degree of individual self-mastery, self-discipline and Spiritual vigilance to not allow negative ego thoughts and feelings or emotions to take over one’s consciousness and to never take them out on their partner.
It manifests as a desire to give pleasure to one’s partner on all levels as a priority, rather than just seeking one’s own self-pleasure and satisfaction.
It manifests as an extreme desire to be positive and optimistic in all aspects of self, life, and in the relationship.
It manifests as a willingness to always walk the extra mile for your partner even when psychologically and/or physically tired or fatigued. It manifests as an ability to remain unconditionally loving, positive and upbeat even when your partner is not.
It manifests as a willingness to compromise and to sacrifice one’s own preferences to make your partner happy.
This is done with total Spiritual love and sincerity not with the attitude of being a martyr. The Superconscious mind or Spiritual level also manifests as a desire to be selfless, rather than selfish. It manifests as a spirit of unconditional love and goodness that always gives their partner the benefit of the doubt.
It manifests as a commitment to never hold on to negativity, and if something is bothering them they either communicate it in an unconditionally loving, uncritical, rational and nonself-righteous manner, or they forgive and let go of this process within self. They do not give in to moodiness and maintain their Christ/Buddha consciousness and ideals even when physically tired. They practice detachment, defenselessness, harmlessness, and humility, at all times even when attacked or criticized. They look at every negative interaction as another opportunity to practice greater Christ/Buddha consciousness and unconditional love.
The Superconscious and Spiritual mind infuses the desire for Unconditional Love rather than needing to be right or needing to win. The Superconscious and Spiritual mind have the individual do all these things even if the other person is not always doing them. This is done for the purpose of achieving God Realization within self and for the purpose of setting a better example in their relationship which most often inspires the other to do the same.
Lastly, the Superconscious and Spiritual mind inspire the individual to lovingly recognize the psychological and/or Spiritual weaknesses in their partner, and to not only not hold this or use this against them, but to instead make adjustments and compensations in one’s own consciousness to allow these character weaknesses to be developed over time. This is not done from a “holier than thou” attitude, for your partner is doing the same and/or will do the same for any weaknesses, bad habits, or mistakes you shall make as well.
So in the highest level of “The Art of Loving” from a Spiritual perspective, the main “fight” two Masters of this practice will have is who will give and serve the other more! My Beloved Readers, “The Art of Loving” from a Spiritual and Higher Consciousness perspective not only includes the feeling, thought, and Spiritual level also described here as the Subconscious, Conscious, and Superconscious level. It also includes the physical/Earthly level.
It manifests this Superconscious and Spiritual love, giving, and selflessness in the way one approachs sexuality.
It manifests in one’s generosity with dealings with money. It manifests this Spiritual quality in being willing to take Earthly responsibility for chores.
It manifests as a willingness to take on the other¹s responsibilities and chores during times of physical sickness, psychological exhaustion and/or undue stress.
It manifests in remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. It manifests as buying flowers, sweet gifts, and leaving sweet notes or messages for no special reason.
It manifests as telling your partner you love them as often as possible, and constantly giving them kisses, love and affection. It means being willing to make large physical sacrifices at times regarding such things as where one lives, jobs, and certain material expenditures, to please your partner that you would not necessarily make on your own. When mistakes are made, they are quickly forgiven by both people in the relationship.
If negative feelings and emotions do manifest, they are communicated in an unconditionally loving manner, while still taking responsibility for the fact that we each cause our own reality by how we think. In this vein, no one is blamed for how the other feels, for victim consciousness is not practiced even if negative feelings do arise at times. If they do arise they are made part of the communication process, for as Virginia Satir stated, “Communication is to a relationship, what breathing is to living.”
So my Beloved Readers, in conclusion we can see very clearly that the true “Art of Loving” is a four-fold process involving the Spiritual, Mental, Emotional, and Physical/Earthly levels. It is when “The Art of Loving” is practiced from this Integrated Spiritual and Higher Consciousness perspective, that you will have the greatest possible fulfillment and success within self and within your romantic Spiritual relationship!
Authors Details: Dr Joshua David Stone
Dr Stone has a PhD. in transpersonal psychology and is a licensed marriage, family and child counselor in Los Angeles. The Authors Web Site