One of the hardest things in our lives can be letting go of the past. We know we should do it, and we beat ourselves up inside when we don’t do it, and this of course, just makes the problem keep coming back. When we dwell on an issue for too long, it hurts our hearts and keeps us from being fully present in the moment. When we are not fully present in the now, we aren’t living our lives to the fullest, and we are not free. You know this already, but when you’re dragging yourself down with a past event that has haunted you, or still is haunting you, you often cannot see a way out. You feel trapped. You ask yourself, “Will this never end?” You want out but you feel too hopeless that there really is a way out, a way to let go of an obsessive thought, or of guilt you feel when you’ve blamed yourself, or the anger you feel from blaming another. If you only knew how to get out, you’d jump at the chance.
Perhaps you’re in a stressful ongoing event that you fear will never end, or that you fear you just cannot get on with your life in a particular situation. It may be true that a past or ongoing event really has no “end” to it. Your life and the obstacles in it will never truly be over and done with until you die. There are just going to be some things (and people) in life that you have no control over and sometimes you just have to accept that. But there is a way you can let go of worrying, the past, or the ongoing event so that you can be more present and get on with your life in a more positive, accepting, and productive manner.
It’s called getting complete with the issue. What does “getting complete” mean? It means that at any given moment, you are a complete person, not dependent on your past, your situations, or what others think of you. Being complete means you can let go. Letting go empowers you to be responsible for your own life and your choices of who you are and what you do. And I’ll tell you a way to get complete. But first you have to be willing to allow yourself to try something new. If you are willing to do this, then you’ve taken the first step. Below I have outlined a very simple, yet very effective technique, that is like a guided meditation, on how to have some completion in your life, so that you may let go. Personally, I have found this powerful technique useful in even the most difficult situations in my life, and believe me, just letting go is one of the most difficult issues I’ve had. And after spending a whole lot of time and money with personal development classes, books, and alternative medicine, this is still one of the very best things I’ve ever found. I hope you find it useful in bringing you more peace and joy in your life. After all, you deserve it, and your loved ones deserve to have you fully present with them as well, not living in the past or under the pressure of situations that can’t be controlled, don’t you think? Give it a try.
First, do whatever you need to do to have 15 minutes or so alone, somewhere quiet where you can relax, even if it’s just in the shower. (Later when you have more practice with this, you’ll find you can do it in a matter of moments wherever you are.) Take a couple of deep breaths to help clear your mind. If you find writing out things helps you think, then please consider writing out all your responses to the following thoughts as you go through them.
Now think to yourself, “What is the pleasure of [this issue]?” Try to think of all the good things you enjoyed from the issue you’re doing this completion exercise on. Often there isn’t any pleasure in it and that’s why you’re doing the completion. Nevertheless, you might find you like the adrenaline rush, or that it’s easier to sit in your suffering than face the fear of the unknown, etc. Whatever it is, notice what you feel, sensations in your body, emotions, and know that whatever you feel (or don’t feel) is okay.
Now think, “What is NOT the pleasure of [this issue]?” Here’s where most of your complaints are. Notice how you feel when you think about the issue. Are you feeling sad, anxious, angry, or numb as if you can’t feel anything but you know something is there? Whatever you feel is okay. Just notice all the thoughts, images, and feelings that come up. If you have a lot of intensity here, sit with it until it begins to subside.
Now, think about all the people involved that you need to forgive regarding this issue. Include yourself in this, since self-forgiveness is often the hardest one. Try to allow yourself to forgive even the people who you don’t think deserve it. If you can do this even a little bit, it will help you. This is something you have to feel inside of you, you can’t just say “I forgive you,” with words. You may sit with this a few minutes if it is hard.
Next, think about all the people you need to thank regarding this issue. This may seem impossible in some cases, but try it nevertheless. You may even have to just thank the person who gave you the motivation or perseverance to come as far as you have already. Or just be thankful for the lessons you have learned through all this. This is a time to be grateful.
Now it is finally time to let go. Imagine your issue being sealed up inside of a balloon, which floats off into the sky until you cannot see it anymore. Let yourself just feel empty, with this issue gone, back into the universe to be recycled energy. Take some deep breaths.
Finally, you need to fill that space within you where that issue was, do not leave it empty. Fill the space with something that is pleasurable to you. You choose, some ideas would be more joy, love, compassion, or peace. Open your heart to allow yourself to receive. When you feel complete for the time being, then you are.
Repeat this procedure whenever you feel the need for some completion, even if you have to do it over again for the same issue at a later time. You’ll feel more empowered to be in control of your own life, which is the only thing you can control. When you choose to be complete, and let go, then you are choosing your own destiny and happiness. Then you are truly free.
Authors Details: Lori Tostado The Authors Web Site