A rewarding soulmate relationship can be found if you bypass your ego and use intuitive guidance. The first thing you need to do is learn to tell the difference between the voice of your inner teacher and that of your ego. This is not as difficult as it may seem because your inner guidance and your ego support entirely different thought systems. Your inner guide is an influence that works through your higher centres and argues in favour of love, humility, and forgiveness. This is opposed by another force that urges you to be egotistical, selfish, and judgemental. When I was growing up, cartoons depicted what I am calling ego, as a little red devil whispering malicious advice into a character’s left ear. At the same time a winged and haloed angel representing your inner guidance spoke words of generosity and tolerance in your other ear.
Inner Guide Thinking Vs Ego
The simplest way to explain the difference between your inner guide’s perspective and that of your ego is to understand that your inner guidance believes that love is real and fear is not. Your ego believes that fear is real and love is not. Interestingly when you allow your search for a soulmate relationship to be led by your ego you are actually asking the only thing in the universe that doesn’t know what love is, to find it for you.
Your ego is your false self and is tasked with protecting you. It does this from the perspective of the lower centres and almost works from the opposite point of view that your higher self has. Your ego doesn’t know love. From a metaphysical perspective, the human mind invents an ego for the purpose of making love seem unreal because “the creator” is love. For the creator who is without beginning and end to experience itself it needed to have contrast and duality. We are holographic projections of the source and play out this same experience as we return to a state that replicates that of the creator.
The reality of life is actually love and your ego contrasts this. The human experience is to work through the false reality that your ego attempts to hold you in. Being in love feels wonderful because we return to reality for a whilst. It’s your ego that works from fear and drags you back to the illusion that it helps keep in place. Your ego whilst warning you not to trust others, pushes you toward relationships for selfish reasons. It seems almost obsessively concerned with finding it telling you that you won’t be happy without that special someone to validate your life and solve your problems. Someone to look after you in old age, the fear of being alone, money, sex and the list goes on. I’m not saying any of these things are not good. It’s about prior intentions – are they love or fear based?
Your ego can’t guarantee you won’t stumble across true love accidentally. It therefore makes it very difficult for you to recognise what you have found. Your ego renders love invisible by it’s skilful misdirection of your attention. It allows you to dwell in infatuation and gives you the appeal of the exotic, substituting diamonds for the pure water you need to flourish and survive. Real love can be a pedestrian affair, that is characterised by simple virtues like patience, forgiveness, tolerance, humour, gentleness, empathy, tact, honesty, discipline, and practical support. It is not breathless exaltation, but does give you a sense of peaceful contentment. I’m not suggesting there are not relationships that have both, it’s about where the beauty lies. Chances are you’ve had multiple opportunities in your life for “true love” that you passed up without a backward glance.
The “Special” Relationship
A Course in Miracles contrasts what is termed as a special relationship. This is a relationship based upon infatuation. As opposed to the holy relationship, which is grounded in real love. Special relationships are all about how love is supposed to be. In pursuit of them, you do your best to achieve a union where everything looks perfect, regardless of the way it feels.
The ego’s illusion of “special love” involves you finding a partner, so obviously desirable that he or she reflects glory on you every time you are seen together. A suitably romantic courtship, during which both of you do a flawless portrayal of people in love, which culminates in a fairy-tale perfect wedding. Then you go and live happily ever after in the local equivalent of a palace. You produce beautiful, trouble-free, high-achiever children who reflect well on their parents. Concern with the outward appearance of a relationship always comes at the expense of content in the relationship. However “perfect” special relationships look from the outside it’s exhausting keeping up appearances and this type of relationship leaves you feeling empty and alone.
As the Course in Miracles points out, the special relationship is a very impressive frame, but the picture it holds is dark and depressing. Holy relationships are achieved only when we forget about the frame and focus instead upon content – the way it feels to be with someone you truly enjoy.
Guideline To Manifest A Soulmate Relationship
One interesting feature of soulmate relationships is the way everything else seems to fall into place once you make love your first priority. Even the Bible says, “Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven, and all else shall be added unto you.” This can mean get your house in order and you will attract someone just like the NEW you.
The literal truth of this statement is repeatedly demonstrated in soulmate unions where someone gives up “everything” for love, and then winds up getting it all anyway. Like the woman who thought she needed a man who was rich and successful. By choosing to love and marry her soulmate, despite the fact that he was poor and unsuccessful, that’s exactly what she got as eventually the success and money arrived. Invest in what brings you joy, and the universe may just throw in the bonuses for free!
1. Look for the sort of person you’d want as a best friend even if you weren’t attracted to her or him sexually. Sometimes they are closer than you think.
2. Don’t develop a relationship with someone who you view as superior and whose love appears to “elevate” you in some way. Look for an equal who you enjoy.
3. Don’t settle. Remember that your soul won’t be satisfied with anything less than true love.
Have you found your soul mate? How did you know? Comment below or join me and comment on Facebook