Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.
King Whitney Jr.
You are in control and can make your life how you want it to be. Part of this power is gained by learning what to do and then practising so that you can move from your fearful state to that of confidence.
Last month you learnt about gratitude, being thankful for what you have. That is an attitude or a frame of mind.
There is much more you can do with the right frame of mind.
You may wish to change the way you are. Many people are in this situation. You are not quite satisfied with something about your life and wish to be different.
This is easier than it sounds but there are some complexities to overcome.
The key to change, to become something other than what you are today, is to adopt the perspective of who you want to be. Your thoughts create your world so you need to think from the perspective of the new you.
You need to be the new you. Right now.
This is very different to thinking that you will become something in the future. You can never become, by having the opinion that you will, in the future “be”. At some stage you must change your perspective and be that thing, now. In other words you need to shift into the present and say “I am”
So, why wait till you are more ready. Why not just “be” right now this very minute?
Sounds easy but lets look at this in a more practical light with an example.
You are an inactive person and you want to be a fit person.
So here are some steps to take.
1. Research –
What does fit mean to you? You want to be a fit person then what does a fit person do everyday. How do they behave and what do you have to do? What sort of activity will make you fit, how much time do you need to spend and what sort of effort is required.
The quality of this research determines the rest of your journey.
2. Plan –
Plan what you are going to do. Write down the steps that are required. This helps you stick to your changes.
3. Decide –
Decide to do. Decide to act on what you will do to be a fit person. ie: Exercise 4 times a week and avoid junk food 6 days out of 7.
4. Be –
Become a fit person right now! This very minute. You know what a fit person does, you have a plan, you have decided to act, so now you only have to be. So be!!!
That’s it – you are now a fit person untill you DON’T do what’s required.
Don’t laugh – your problem lies in the concept of time. The first minute of being a fit person is difficult because you have no history to draw on. When you look backwards you cannot see yourself as a fit person. The second day becomes easier and the third week of doing what a fit person does, builds your history to a point where you can see what you are and feel more comfortable in your new role.
This however means that you use your own history to define what you are. You were not fit yesterday so you are not fit today. This is not really true, you can be different today. You can subscribe to this way of thinking if you want or you can discard this theory completely. The main problem with this way of doing things is the powerful pull that the weight of your past has over you.
When you drive your car, which way do you look? I bet you don’t look in the rear mirror to guide your path forward. You look forward to move forward. The concept here is the same.
You are driving your life.
Look forward and become what you want now! This power is enhanced when you learn to focus and concentrate. There is an easy way to make your transition to the new you.
Do things in steps.
Now this at first glance sounds like a contradiction – however it will make your transition a lot easier if you break your change into steps.
It’s always easy to do things in steps. So rather than moving from well entrenched coach potato to supreme olympic champion in a single bound, break the task into bite sized pieces.
This is important because when you first start to look forward you have a tendancy to glance over your shoulder often. By taking smaller steps the canyon you have just jumped seems a lot smaller and safer, alleviating any potential fears.
Remember it’s up to you! You can do anything. Find out how in the Key To Life Manual
Aymen Fares is an International Life Coach with clients all over the world. He is based in Melbourne Australia.
find out about his ‘Key To Life’ Manual