When it comes to finding a soul mate all the cliches about “love at first sight” come from the real experience of recognising someone you love from a past life. That intense and immediate sense of intimacy you experience in such a connection is very strong and powerful. Throughout the years it has become obvious through my spiritual consulting work that everyone is interested in finding a soul mate – everyone wants to have a magical soul mate experience. When consulting with clients the usual questions cover the range; “Will I ever find my soul mate?” and “Is he/she my soul mate?” all the way to, “I thought he/she was my soul mate, what the hell happened?”
We all share a deep, primal inner longing for that sense of a perfect union. A union that in recent years has taken on the label “soul mate”. This emotionally driven “romantic” urge has been examined from many different perspectives. Physical scientists attribute it to biochemistry and hormones. Anthropologists explain it away by examining cultural myths, procreative instincts and mating behaviour. Psychologists relate it to deep-seated issues arising from childhood and your desire for reunion with your mother, your first or “perfect” love. None of these theories are exclusive or necessarily contradictory. Like all experiences in the physical world, beneath the experience lies a spiritual root or a reality from which these currents of desire come from.
The Energy Of Desire
It could be said that the energy of desire makes the world go around. It is desire that fuels your life and all of creation. Desire leads to procreation, new life, ambition, creativity and every kind of union that can be conceived of. It is the desire for coming together with another to achieve a divine sense of “Oneness” that inspires your romantic fantasy for a soul mate experience. The Western obsession with romance has led to a distorted image of what the quest for “Oneness” is or can be. It’s most likely that you see the act of finding a soul mate and achieving union as your – or should i say THE holy grail.
The problem with this type of emotionally driven thought is that what you truly seek is unlimited and unconditional. Romantic love falls far short of that ideal. People do generally long for the unconditional love that most of us have only known from our mothers. This experience of unconditional mother-love most closely resembles the sense of total peace and wholeness that can only truly be found in “God,” or the Divine. Romance as accepted by western culture, by it’s very nature, is not unconditional or unlimited.
In Romantic love, your feelings are dependent upon what you receive in return. In contrast a mother will continue to love her child even when that child grows up and leaves her. Even when her child loves another person. In the western world’s version of romantic love, people tend to get fearful and angry if their lover wants to love another. It gets even worse if their lover wants to leave and go off to explore other experiences. You are more concerned with what you are getting and a sense of “security” – rather than with the other person’s happiness.
When you look for unconditional love through the limitations of Romantic love then you will never really be fulfilled. When your real experiences fall short of your dreams, you assume that you just haven’t met the “right person” yet, and when you do, then you will finally be fulfilled. It means you go from relationship to relationship seeking something unlimited, through a limited model.
Finding A Soul Mate
Finding a soul mate experience offers you the opportunity to begin with Romantic love and grow and stretch your heart and spirit toward something higher – more advanced and evolved. You are drawn together with your partner on the magnetic energy of romantic attraction. It’s not until your heart and soul extends outward to another person that a lasting and powerful spiritual bond begins to form.
A soul mate is someone to whom you feel profoundly connected to. The communication that takes place between the two of you has no intentional effort, just divine grace. This kind of relationship is incredibly important to your soul and for the sake of comfort and conversely learning, there is nothing more precious in life.
This sense of immediate connection arises from your unconscious or you soul memories of previous loving experiences. A soul mate is someone with whom you have shared many loving past life experiences. If you look at all the people you’ve loved long and well in this lifetime alone, it becomes clear that you are not limited to just one “soul mate” for all of eternity.
Past Life Connection Vs. Soul Mate
Clients often ask me; “how can I tell the difference between an “ordinary” past life connection and a “soul mate?” I believe that the use of the label “soul mate” limits your ability to see the issue clearly. There is no one “soul mate” you are seeking. There is no black and white delineation between who in your life is a “soul mate” and who is not.
Sometimes you meet someone from a past life and have an immediate and strong negative impression. This has happened to me a few times in my life. I knew upon meeting those people that they were familiar, and I felt an immediate unease or fear. In all cases this first impression was played out dramatically. I believe that my soul recognised these people from the first instance of meeting and at some level I knew that there was challenging karma ahead. I learned more from experiencing those situations than from many of the other pleasant experiences I have had.
Meeting someone and having a very positive and powerful attraction to them right away is a sign that this is someone you have loved before. You can define a soul mate as someone that you feel a very positive immediate attraction to AND someone you feel compelled to be with or get to know better. It’s like this type of connection takes on a life of its own and you are swept up in its undeniable magnetic force.
Finding A Soul Mate
Here is an interesting point that many people over look. These loving “soul mate” relationships must be started at some time. Just because a loving bond was formed in a past life does not make it any more powerful or important than the loving bonds you can form now in this life. You are in the process, right now of creating your soul mate relationships of the future. Look at your life and your current relationships. Think about your family, your children, your lover, your friends and the people you work with all day.
How are you likely to feel upon meeting them in another life? Will you feel an immediate rapport or feel wary because of experiences you’re creating now? You can create a soul mate experience today and reap the reward from this connection forever. You are a creator and have the power to create your destiny now. Spend less time looking for your soul mate and put much more time and effort into loving deeply and passionately – creating your future soul mates now. Don’t chase the type of relationship you’ve read about or seen in the movies, rather aim to create new levels of intimacy, deeper throes of passion, stronger bonds of love now.