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Relationships
are one of the best and toughest paths to Self-realization.
Yogis who fast, remain celibate, take vows of poverty, and
live in caves have selected a difficult course. But that’s
child play compared to being a "house holder", a
term used in India for one who pursues the spiritual path
while having a job, raising a family, maintaining a home and
all the concomitant responsibilities. Now that is an arduous
path!
Some
say soul mates are the ones who can push our buttons the best
and who drive us crazy at times.
Others
believe that everything flows effortlessly and peacefully
with soul mates. Either may be true at different times depending
on the agendas of the Souls involved. If I need to increase
in patience and understanding, what better way than living
with three females who have synchronized hormonal cycles?
Who said God doesn’t have an interesting sense of humor!
The
issue of relationships becomes very interesting when we remember
we each are Eternal Souls. Relationships are not coincidental
or unimportant. Think of the thousands of persons we encounter
in our lifetimes; why do we form close and lasting relationships
with one person but not another? We have to deal with recurring
negative relation-ships sooner or later. Why not now?
Don’t
be "held back" and experience a "hell"
of lower quality living because of unresolved relationship
issues. Serious spiritual seekers will make optimal relationships
a priority. Love is the key and relationships provide a life
long workshop for giving and receiving love. If persistent
problems plague your relationships, consider the soul or karma
aspects in addition to usual counseling considerations.
Remember
that roles may have been reversed or quite different in past
incarnations. For example, your rebellious son may have been
your stern mother in an earlier life. Look beyond the usual
dynamics and discern patterns that may need addressing. Past
life regressions under hypnosis can assist healing relationship
problems by letting go of past life conflicts.
One
way to discern if you’re relating to a soul mate is
to recall the first time you met in this life. Remember the
description of memory triggers or cues that are planned just
before souls return for new incarnations? In reviewing my
first meetings with loved ones, time seemed to stand still
for a moment. My brain seemed to whir faster than usual as
if trying to comprehend the various energies and feelings.
I felt happy inside as our eyes met and we held the gaze longer
than customary or comfortable during first meetings.
One
of Dr. Newton’s clients told of a memory trigger at
age seven involving a silver pendant. The pendant of a neighbor
lady shone brightly in the sun and the woman smiled at him.
They became fast friends and, describing the event from the
soul’s pre-incarnation perspective, he said "I
will know her only a short time before we move, but it is
enough. She will read to me and talk to me about life and
teach me to respect people."
As
one progresses toward greater personal growth and heightened
consciousness, relationships may encounter a new type of stress.
One person may be actively involved with spiritual and holistic
health improvementwhile the other couldn’t care less.
The relationship may suffer if this gulf widens and interests
remain markedly different. The rapidly changing partner may
be in an overzealous or self-actualizing phase while the more
orthodox partner may be content with the status quo. People
hear the call in different times and ways. Spiritual wake-up
calls may be misinterpreted as a marital problem, mental illness,
or life-stage crisis. More persons will be experiencing "calls
to action" as the time arrives for them to let their
soul’s Light shine. For those desiring optimal soul
growth, life’s dynamics will heat up until we agree
to share our special gifts that contain the keys to realizing
Heaven on Earth.
In
a loving relationship, both persons have an appreciation for
individual differences and needs. If problems surface, nourish
the relationship, communicate often, and have patience. If,
however, counseling and mutual efforts don’t improve
a chronically unhappy and unrewarding relationship -move on.
Life is for loving; too many have wasted their lives "sticking
it out."
A
major key to healthy relationships is to see the Divinity
in each other. Relationships based solely on lower chakra
energies of physical attraction, dependency issues, and money
are break-ups waiting to happen. The body may grow old and
the mind feeble but, viewed through eyes of love, the soul’s
beauty always shines through.
Relationships
are a perfect opportunity for seeing the Divine in everyone.
Recall your first loves and how you were thrilled to look
deeply into each others eyes, the windows of the Soul. The
problem is, most people limit opening their hearts to just
a few others. Then they’re crushed when the relationship
ends by death or parting. Make a habit of looking deeply,
even if only for a moment, into the eyes of everyone you meet.
You’ll be pleasantly surprised to find the Beloved in
everyone.
When
first encountering 4th chakra energies, perhaps during "puppy
love", we may erroneously think love is something we
can lose. As we grow into higher awareness, we realize love
is inside and all around us. Love does not come from another
person nor can it be lost since we are beings of Love. Then,
whether in a relationship or not, we’re always enjoying
an internal state of Love.
When
a relationship does end, remember there is more than just
one "true love" with whom to enjoy life. Love deeply
but don’t "put all your eggs in one basket"
and set yourself up for heartbreak. Just as diversification
is wise in financial investing, keep a varied "portfolio"
of beloved friends and family. Then, when a relationship ends,
you won’t be left feeling so lonely, although, as you
now know, you’re never alone.
I
learned this the hard way 23 years ago. My first love was
an inordinately large part of my life. We were young and I
had an unhealthy over-dependence on her that, naturally, drove
her away. After our break-up, the pain was so intense that
I awakened at night with a wet pillow from crying in my sleep.
That was the only time I have even briefly thought of suicide
as a way to ease my pain.
My
old self died that summer but other exciting doors opened
as Ire-examined all aspects of my life. In the long run, the
loss led to many blessings and lessons that I wouldn’t
have learned otherwise but what a painful way to grow! I italicize
`loss’ because we never really lose true Love, one of
the constants in life.
Brian
Weiss says "It is through relationships that we learn
to express and receive love, to forgive, to help, and to serve.
From the experiences thatsome of my patients have in the ‘between
life’ state, I have come to believe that we actually
pick our families for each lifetime before birth. We chose
to live out the patterns that will afford us the most growth
with the souls that will most effectively manifest these situations
in our lives. Very often, these are souls we have met and
interacted with in many ways in other lifetimes." If
we picked each other, let’s love and appreciate one
another and - when it’s time - let go lightly, remembering
the Truth.
The
older I get, the more I value loved ones. I deeply love my
family and friends and, during trying times, know that they
are providing the perfect environment for Soul growth. Real
friends and family are there to listen, share, and enjoy.
Loved ones are worth their weight in gold and are a key ingredient
for spiritual progress.
| Authors
Details: Dr. Mark Pitstick Web
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