Good
health and prostate health — depend on a regular, happy
sx life.
The
prostate is a muscle. Like all muscles, it must be used if it
is to remain strong. Regular use also helps to cleanse the gland.
It's no accident that the highest incidence of prostate cancer
occurs in celibate men. For some men, once a week may the right
amount of sx, while for others it is once or more a day,
or once a month. There is no magic number that guarantees good
health.
It's best just to do what feels good and doesn't cause fatigue
afterwards.
But
simply having sx is not enough. Ideally, sx is more than
a physical act — it is a loving union with your partner. Unfortunately,
many men are not having as much sx as they would like — or
need — for
a healthy physical and emotional life. Not from want of trying,
but from lack of understanding.
When
a man first meets the person who will become his lover and/or
spouse, he can practically feel the sxual energy in the
air; it's never-ending, it's self generating. Being near this
person,
simply thinking about them, increases his desire. And, like him,
his partner is easily aroused. With time, however, the sxual
energy seems to fade away.
Once
at high tide, it's now at low ebb. Where before, both were almost
always interested in enjoying sx, now it seems that one
or both of them are constantly tired or not interested. Sx
doesn't have
the attraction it once had. The energy that drew them into it,
and grew from it, has dissipated. And as sxual energy fades
from a relationship, so does passion, sxual activity,
intimacy — and
eventually love. But it doesn't have to be that way. The sxual
energy of a relationship can remain as supercharged as it was
in the beginning. The physical connection that seemed so urgent
in the early stages of the relationship can remain strong, driven
by increasing physical and emotional intimacy.
The
love between two people can remain strong and grow deeper on
all levels, no matter how tired or busy they are. The key is
caring: thinking about it and working at it. Passionate, exciting
love may "hit" out of the blue at times, but it remains only
if it's continually nurtured, invited back, and treated as an
honored guest. Just as we carefully clean the house before the
honored guest arrives, just as we carefully plan and cook the
meal, just as we spend a great deal of time thinking about what
our honored guest would like to do, so must we think, plan, prepare,
and nurture passionate love.
What
smothers our passion?
Although physical and emotional passion can remain high throughout a lifelong
relationship, it is often dimmed by neglect, poor communication, preconceptions,
and differing goals. We don't deliberately neglect our love. Rather, we get
caught up in work, family obligations, mowing the lawn, and trying to get away
one day a week to hang out with the guys. All of this is necessary, but it
takes time away from the pursuit of passion. Neither do we deliberately fail
to communicate. But often we are too embarrassed to say what we need to say.
We don't know what to say, or how to say it. We may feel afraid of appearing
weak, needy, argumentative, demanding, odd, or "dirty". And sometimes we don't
even realize anything needs to be said, so our needs are unexpressed, our angers
repressed, and our disappointment stews until we reach the boiling point.
When
we finally do speak, our requests or suggestions may come out
sounding more like accusations or attacks. Our partner pulls
back defensively or counterattacks, and the battle lines are
drawn. Our communication difficulties are exacerbated by our
preconceptions. We all have notions about relationships and marriage — ideas
about male and female roles based or our family, cultural, and
religious background. Preconceptions are bound to cause problems
unless they dovetail perfectly with your partner's, which is
unlikely. At some point, you'll know they should be doing or
saying some thing that they are equally sure they shouldn't do
or say. Even if we pay careful attention to our lover, communicate
expertly, and rid ourself of preconceptions, we still face a
difficult hurdle: the very different expectations and needs of
men and women.
Men
and women are equal, but they are very different physically and
emotionally. Their needs are different, and they go about satisfying
those needs in different ways. Both men and women want intimacy.
But to a man, intimacy means sx — and lots of it. As far as
a man is concerned, more sx means more intimacy and a
better relationship. To a woman, intimacy is something very different.
It's a wonderful spiritual closeness to her man, a feeling that
she has found her soulmate.
For
men, intimacy is a physical matter. For women, intimacy is a
product of the feelings and heart. That's
not surprising, given that men are by nature sxual beings. Our
genitalia are on the outside of our bodies, our interest in a
woman is made obvious by an *rection, and our biologic urge
is to propagate by "hunting" and "conquering". While a man is
a sxual "extrovert", a woman is generally a sxual "introvert".
Her sxual organs are within her, she has trouble speaking
of her deepest longings and feelings, she is closed and protective.
She must feel loved and comfortable before she will open up — either
figuratively or literally — to a man. For women, s€xual
passion is a result of intimacy. When women feel that special
spiritual
connection with their mate they can become truly passionate.
When they don't feel that intimacy, they may search fruitlessly
inside themselves for passion, but it will not be there, and
they will not be satisfied with sx. Lacking passion, and
not finding satisfaction, they will naturally turn away from
s€x.
With widespread neglect, poor communication, preconceptions,
and differing needs and goals, it's no wonder that so many relationships
wither, and sexual intercourse becomes a bone of contention or
is gone entirely. And it's no wonder that so many relationships
lack the passion of spiritual and physical love. But it doesn't
have to be that way.
You
and your partner can be a passionate couple, united in passionate
physical and spiritual love, until you depart this earth.
A
final note: Is sx a cure for cancer?
Not only is sx fun, it's good for your prostate health — and may prevent cancer.
Dr. Banrejee of the Manchester Royal Infirmary in England found a correlation
between the number of *jaculations and the risk of prostate cancer.
(1) The doctor divided 423 men, ranging from 60 to 80 years old, into two groups:
274 who had prostate cancer, and 149 who did not. When the men estimated their
*jaculatory frequency during the years they were most sxually
active, it was found that the ones who wound up with prostate cancer *jaculated
much
less
frequently, on average, than did men who avoided the disease. (A full 31% of
the cancer-free men had *jaculated 5 to 7 times per week, compared with only
13% of those with the cancer.) Whether you begin practicing tantric sx
or remain with your current practices, I urge you to have regular, loving sx.
In addition to the physical pleasures and benefits, a loving sxual relationship
improves and deepens your relationship with your partner, promoting overall
health and well-being.
| Authors
Details:
"Prostate
Health" Larry Clapp
Larry
Clapp, Ph.D., J.D., was diagnosed with prostate cancer
in 1990.
Given the limited options of surgery and radiation, he began intensive research
into self-healing alternatives and developed a treatment for prostate cancer
which he successfully used to cure himself.
Today, cancer-free, he continues his research while helping others to heal
through his audiotape series and nationwide presentations. He is co-author
of Awaken the Healer Within. |
|
