Relationships
are difficult and challenging spiritual practices. They give
us the opportunity to test our skills of communication, intimacy,
authenticity, and integrity. They also give us a chance to retrieve
our soul and our spirit.
Have
you stopped dancing with your soul? Have you stopped letting
your soul sing and express from its very heart and being? So
many people have lost their song of life and their enchantment
with life. When they learn to rekindle their heart song and reconnect
with their life tune, they will be able to bring soul to a relationship.
Two
numb and lifeless souls do not create a very fulfilling relationship.
Everything we do in life is a relationship. We have a relationship
with money, we have a relationship with our body, and we even
have a relationship with our car. We have a relationship with
everything! As humans, we are all interdependent.
True
rewarding relationship is a union of two souls who connect from
their life center -- their spirit center. Staying in our own
center and listening with our deepest inner knowing, is how we
relate best. The beauty of relationship is that it awakens the
mystery and magic of our soul. We are like two gods creating
amazing and wonderful universes of feelings and experiences together.
Why
are these magical relationships so difficult to attain? For one,
the element of trust is essential. We must arrive at a place
where we trust ourselves and others. We must trust the fact that
we know how to handle our life and make important decisions.
We must also trust the fact that our mate knows how to do the
same thing.
Then,
we can align our words and actions with our integrity, and expect
the best. We must be reasonable in our expectations so that we
don't place unreasonable demands on our partner. Underneath it
all, the only thing we all basically want is to be honored and
respected exactly as we are. We want to feel safe, nurtured,
and protected. We want to be validated, loved, and cherished.
We also want to make our own choices and have those choices honored. We
do not want to be told what to do or how to live our life.
A
relationship is a mystery that is created stroke by stroke like
a painting on a canvas. Each word we speak, every action we take,
and each choice we make, is like a stroke on the canvas. Each
day, we create a new segment of the painting, and each day, we
add color, nuance, intensity, and energy. No two canvases are
alike, just as no two people are alike. Relationship is a miracle.
It takes us all the way back to God who created us as companions.
Every
relationship we have is a reflection of the relationship we have
with God. If we believe that God can love us, then we will believe
that others can love us, and if we believe that we are not good
enough for God to love, how will we be able to accept the love
of others?
Let's
face it. Most people are not growing very much. They have distanced
themselves from being challenged and stretched. They are uncomfortable
with change and are afraid to take risks. They protect their
vulnerability at all costs, and are unwilling to do healing work.
They want quick bandages, and they rush back to the world of
stress and illusions and try to carve out some basic nutrition
from a dead turkey. The very evolution of our society shows the
insecurity and fear of the people at large.
Our
relationships reflect our insecurities. The old relationships
of the past have basically been an exchange of favors -- the
wife has exchanged sex for security, and the husband exchanged
work and being head of the household for a false sense of fulfillment.
This is a marriage of two low selves, and this is the marriage
of the average person.
The
Relationship of the Future
The
relationship of the future will be a blend of both the low self
and high self. We will no longer have spouses and marriage certificates
to make us feel safe; we will have partners who support our growth
and encourage us to do what we love. We will have partners who
encourage us to have our own power and express ourselves spontaneously
and creatively. This is the relationship of the future. It is
the only one that will work. As soon as we have individuals who
have reached that level of maturity, we will have relationships
of quality and spirit. We will have true enlightenment.
Enlightenment
is self-actualization. When you are enlightened, the level of
your success in life will depend upon your ability to let go
of fear and insecurity and mistaken beliefs.
What
is Enlightenment?
Enlightenment
is not what you think. It is not about becoming something or
gaining something. It is about giving up something. It is about
losing or emptying; it is about emptying ourselves of our fears
and our personal dragons. We can achieve enlightenment by becoming
personally aware. We can achieve it by peering into our inner
core and looking at the shadows and the fears. Those little inner
dragons are just unloved parts of ourselves. Once we find them
and love them, we can tap into their vitality and energy, and
use their power in our lives. When we bring them into our heart,
they are no longer dragons; they are "spirit" entities who inspire
us and lead us on our heroic journey of life. When we empty our
low self of its fears and trepidation, there is room for God
at our core. We must be empty to be filled, and when God fills
us, we become enlightened.
| Authors
Details:
Dr. Paula Sunray
Dr.
Paula Sunray has
been teaching classes on personal growth and
metaphysical spirituality for 17 years.
She is director of the Sunray Healing Haven and National Interfaith Seminary
in St. Paul, Minnesota, where she trains and teaches healers, ministers, counselors,
and spiritual students in addition to maintaining her own private practice.
This articles was excerpted with permission from her book Life Skills
for the New Millennium Email
the Author |
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